Hope

2010.

I spent the first month of this year in North Dakota. It was a really cold month. I knew I was leaving. I said my goodbyes, and vowed to make it work. In February I drove across the country by myself through nasty midwest weather and made my way back home. Back where I belong. I got to stop and stay with some of my favorite poeple ever. I stayed with Jill in St. Paul, MN and with Anna in Saginaw, MI. I developed a love for a little place called Chatterbox and made new friends in Michigan. When I got back home, I was immediately asked to come back to Mellow Mushroom. I remember getting a text when I was driving home asking me to come back. I don’t think my heart could have been happier. No one (except for mellow employees) will ever understand the family that the employees have there. It’s such a huge silly dysfunctional family, but it works. It felt so great to be back where I needed to be. Back with my best friends, with my family, around the people that love me the most. Oh, I also learned to not ever drive in bad weather at all. I totaled my car on some ice the week after I moved home. In March I went to Copeland’s last NC show. Loved it more than anything. Saw a man walking around W-S with a python around his neck. I started working on my half sleeve, which took me a good 8 months to finish! ha. I learned a lot of patience. In April, I took my best friends on a boating trip for my birthday. We had so much fun. No matter how cold it was :) In May I got to house itmol  and levi the poet for a little while when they were recording in NC at Jamie King’s studio. I absolutely love those guys and am so glad that I met them. We got to help out in the saving of a really cool cat named Ellie and Levi and I went to a baseball game and got all kinds of delicious free food. I also said goodbye to my favorite mellow co-worker ever. Gianna was the best. seriously. I visited the mall of america for the first time in May. I went there two days in a row, fell in love with H&M, and spent a good 15 hours in that mall total. I spent lots of time at Jake France’s house with his family and in their pool. Vicky France is one of the most caring loving mothers I have ever met, and she is truly such a great example to me. I had one of the most incredible summers ever. My sister bought a big pool for our back yard and we had so much fun in it. In June I said goodbye to the France’s. Brennan and I had a really great girls night with the bessssttt custard from Wolfies. It’s weird how God’s timing sometimes is, and how sometimes your bestfriend just knows. Because you both know. Because that is just how it is. In June I met As Hell Retreats, and met some of my favorite people that have ever slept on my floor. I stayed up until sunrise talking to someone who has proven to be a great friend, time and time again. Then in August, two weeks later, they were back! Jackson and I collected 76 pennies from the parking lot at Sheetz. On a completely unrelated note, by this time, things were over and I was okay with it. I took a road trip with my favorite Ashleys up to Pennsylvania and Maryland. I got a tattoo. Went to an incredible art museum. Heard a funny joke from an old lady. Took funny pictures and met a cute couple from S.Africa who is holding our pictures hostage. Drank my first Monster. Hung out with people close to me. Made a pact with someone who didn’t keep their end of the deal. Came to terms with life, and moved on.This month I also got my tragus pierced. Woo? And started working at Alumni Hall.  In September the sky was beautiful and I found a secret spot. It calms me. I love it. I discovered my love for cool whip and holiday sugar cookies. My Annie came to visit. Twice. We played in a giant jungle gym and I helped decorate the coolest cake ever for my bestfriend. In October I went to the fair. I love the fair. Everything about it is just good! I learned how to run a whole entire retail store with my bestfriend, and thoroughly loved the weather and everything about life. I also cut all of jackson’s hair off. I can’t believe I did that. STILL. Can. Not. Believe. Also, we got a big loud doberman named Lucy who I love love love love love. Except she thinks cats are snacks. Not so cool. For Halloween I hung out with Anna again, didn’t see Ke$ha, and had THE coolest tattoos ever. I was Kat Von D for Halloween, and Ashley drew all of my tatts on. In November, I finally finished my half sleeve. I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner for a bunch of (very talented) guys I had never met before. I ate lots of mexican food, and took lots o fun trips. December was pretty much the same. I decided I wanted to move to Charlotte, and now I am. I met some of the most humble, compassionate humans I’ve ever met. I’m so excited for A Past Unknown, and I really hope you guys keep your eyes open for them. This year I learned that wearing heels is okay to do whenever. Even if it is just to go to Walmart. I’m learning, with help, to enjoy the small things. I learned that I like sushi. I learned that the Panthers are absolutely terrible this year. I learned that I really like wearing yellow tights. I also learned that snow is okay sometimes, but only sometimes. Small doses is good, and that’s why North Carolina rules. Yesterday I picked up my last pay check from Mellow. Today I worked my last shift at Alumni Hall and turned in my keys. I don’t know what direction my life is going in, but I’m down for it. I’m going to miss you Winston! I think later I’m going to make a picture post of my year. Yep. :) L8R TUMBLR!

realmengrowbeards:rasputin:

For those of you who do drink.

My beshtfriend is sleeping beside me. I think it was a really good idea for us to be friends. She’s really pretty, like a monkey. Anyways, 2010 was probably the weirdest year I’ve ever ever had. I was thinking about how much I’ve changed this year, and how much I’ll continue to change. And grow. And learn. And learn some more. I’m really excited about it! I don’t really have any “resolutions” for 2011, though. I am not sure what exactly it is that I want in life, but I definitely know what I DON’T want. So… that’s a start..right? haha :) I’m just going with the flow. Starting off fresh in a new town, at a new school, seeing what happens. I like my life a lot, and I’m really excited about the future! I think all of my latest posts have said that, but I am for really real real. So much good has happened! And so much more good is going to keep happening! :) Cool. God is cool. Life is cool. Everything is cool. 

Tonight I tried out Mad Men and Dexter. I liked Dexter more than Mad Men. I need to start from the beginning though, apparently. Had a pretty successful day of job-hunting, and I hope to do the same tomorrow. Then it’s back to Winston for a day or two. I want to go to a movie. Scratch that, I want to go on a date to a movie. In due time, I suppose. It’s not that I want to date someone, I don’t plan on doing that for a while. I just miss having someone to just hang out with whenever, who’s down to hold hands and walk around even when it’s cold outside, or to just watch stupid movies and play video games with. Or to just not even do anything at all. It’s just that feeling of someone caring. It’s not that people don’t care for me, I have the most amazing friends in the world who care so much about me, it’s just not the same, ya know? It’s okay though. One day. :) And next time, he better like Ke$ha. And hardcore music. And dumb rap music. And football. And life. (I know, my standards are pretty high..) Gooooooooooooodnight!

GPOY Moving-In-Edition. 

Hung out with Ash most of the day, went to Ikea, I finished my knitting, Magic Erased most of the house, put away some of the stuff in the kitchen, watched Two Towers, lots of Community, learned I could have been watching lots more Community earlier, and watching Lords of Dogtown now. Good day :) I miss my friends. But hey! First night alone in the new place! 

“Life is only worth a damn because it’s short. It’s designed to be consumed, used, spent, lived, felt. We’re supposed to fill it with every mistake and miracle we can manage. And then we’re supposed to let go…”
-Pierce’s dead mom. 

I love Community.

Oh no….. officially hooked. 

I can’t decide what I want to buy myself with my Christmas money. It will probably either be more work on my arm or a new digital camera body. Or I will just blow it on shoes and clothes I don’t need…. haha

More!

21. Your favorite subject to study.
I like learning about Jesus and about humans. I don’t like school, though.

22.  Do you play a sport? Tell us about it. If not, talk about a different hobby you may have.
These questions are seriously so dumb. I don’t play any sports, I’m an adult. I was a cheerleader in school and I love watching football, but no sports currently.

23. Your opinions on Lady Gaga.
Overrated. Ke$ha > Lady Gaga. 

24.  Tell us about the last movie you saw in theaters.
I think it was the new Jackass movie. It was totally inappropriate. Really hilarious, but I could have definitely done without.

25. Tell us about the last book you read (for leisure or for school.)
I mean other than my bible, I don’t remember. Textbooks I guess?

26. Name one place you would love to visit one day.
New York and CA

27. List your three favorite names, and your three favorite names for a pet.
Alden/Aldynn, August, not sure of others. And for a pet (cat) I would name it Archibald, Atticus. Can’t think of anything else. I guess I like names that start with A? hahah :) 

28. Your first celebrity crush.
Easy. John Michael Montgomery. 

29. Your opinions on the television show Glee.
Again, overrated for real. I’m just not that in to it.

30. Take a picture of yourself right now and post, or post the most recent picture you can find.

My new Panthers gear rules. Merry Christmas world!

Making up for lost time!

5. Tell us your three favorite colors.
Easy! Pink, yellow, teal.

6. Your favorite season, and why.
Fall, for sure. I love the climate. Not too warm, not too cold. I love that I live in North Carolina where the trees are SO beautiful when the leaves start changing. Not a lot of other places look as beautiful as this state does in the fall.  It’s just so frickin beautiful. Everything about it. I love it SO much.

7. How you came across tumblr, and how your life has changed since joining.
I don’t remember how I very first found tumblr, but it was around this time last year that I did. I started blogging new years day and made it my goal to write something every day. I definitely didn’t. Things in my life started going all wacko jacko and I stopped writing. When I first started using tumblr I was living across the country and I was in a very serious relationship and I wasn’t as happy as I liked to pretend to be. Now, I’m back in the south, getting ready to move in with one of my best friends in Charlotte, I am not in a relationship, and I am 100% as happy as I act like I am. Life is way better :)

8. Are you a fitness guru or a couch potato? Talk about your exercise habits. /
I am neither of those. I don’t kill myself working out every day but I am definitely proactive and can not just sit all day every day. I am a member of a gym and try to go there as much as I can. I used to have a personal trainer, but he got in the way of my work/school, and in the way of my bank account as well. I work a whole lot and keep myself busy, but I deffffffffinitely enjoy a nice lazy day every now and then!

9. Favorite meme at the moment.
I don’t know what a meme is??

10. Talk about your pets, or the pets you would like to have.
I have a cute baby cat named Sweetea. She’s not really a baby but she’s small and snuggly and never mean ever. I have a big loud doberman named Lucy. And all I want is little fluffy smooshy faced kitten one day.

11. Your top three favorite bands.
Brand New, Life In Your Way, mewithoutYou. I think. :)

12. Your thoughts on Harry Potter.
Read the books when I was younger, love the movies. I thoroughly enjoy the HP series!

13. Your thoughts on Mean Girls.
I love that movie! I’ve seen it 304829831 times. It doesn’t really ever get old.

14. Do you have siblings? Talk about them.
I have a 17 year old sister named Morgan. We never got along when we were younger, and we still fight and disagree now but we can be civil and go out to dinner and go shopping together and talk about things and be okay :) She is really funny and got me a pair of Panthers pj pants for christmas along with a stuffed cat. She’s a great sister to have and I love her :)

15. Tell us your favorite junk food.
Uhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t really like junk food that much. I like cereal a lot? and bagels? do those count?

16. Your favorite disney princess movie.
I don’t really have a preference..

17. Your thoughts on Ugg boots.
They are expensive. They look stupid with shorts. No one should wear them unless its under 32 degrees outside. Guys should not wear them. I don’t mind them otherwise. 

18. Do you drink soda more often than milk?
Definitely. The only time I drink milk is when I have cake or cookies or something.

19. The initials of your crushes?
Not a chance.

20. Do you wear glasses? If so what are they for.
I have glasses for reading and seeing things up close. My eyes don’t focus together like they are supposed to!

Done for now :) Meowy Christmas everyone! All the love in the world! 

4. Write about your closest friends:

I know I am obviously not doing these day-by-day like I’m supposed to.. better late than never!

Brennan is my very most best friend ever. She’s the most kind-hearted caring beautiful amazing person I’ve ever met. We met when we were both cheerleaders in middle school, and have been inseparable ever since. She has been there for me through everything. She is the kind of friend that when anything is wrong, she just knows, and picks up on it, and you don’t even have to say anything and she is already fixing it. She loves Jesus so much and has the biggest heart in the whole world. We have the most fun random adventures and have made so many amazing friends together. I think she is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met and I am so absolutely honored to call her my best friend. Out of all of our years of being friends, we’ve never been in a fight or argument and can keep each other sane. We’ve worked at two different jobs together and no one can make me laugh like she can. We always joke that we share a brain and I’m starting to believe it’s true! I don’t think anyone will ever understand the bond we share. I love Brennan so much and I can’t wait to see what kinds of adventures we have as we keep growing up and growing in to the women we never thought we could be. :)

Ashley Hutchins is the friend I’ve known the longest. We even have a picture of us together in kindergarten! She is the only friend who came and visited North Dakota when I lived there and she spent a week with me in the cold freezing midwest! Ashley is the kind of person who tells you exactly what she thinks and doesn’t take any crap or attitude from people. She will stand up for her beliefs no matter what. I’ve always admired that in her :) This tiny little girl is so tough and doesn’t care what anyone thinks. We have the best sleepovers and stay up late playing bejeweled and other dumb games that don’t matter and hang out with rAwKsTaRs and laugh at things that are probably not funny to anyone else in the whole entire world. Even though my wittle one is really tough, she has a huge caring heart and is always doing something to help someone else out. she’s beautiful and wonderful and amazing! We have been through a lot together and ashley is someone that I know would be there for me if I needed anything at all. i love my ashie and i love every second we spend together and i’m so glad i can call her one of my best friends and i’m so lucky and blessed to know her :) 

Ashley Milton is one of my closest friends as well. We also met in middle school when we were cheerleaders together, and we actually hated each other when we first met. Now, we’re going to be roomies! We became friends after about a year of hating each other and were really tight for most of high school. During junior and senior year we kind of drifted apart but when i moved back home after school we started being close again and talking and hanging out more. We’ve had minor differences in the past but i feel like we balance each other out. Ashley has put up with a lot in her life and she’s a tough cookie for sure. She’s one of the most beautiful girls i’ve ever seen and is such a hard worker. She also probably the wittiest person I’ve ever met and always makes me laugh. We always take sweet road trips and pretty much have it down to a system now :) I’m so glad that we don’t hate each other any more and I love having ashley in my life! I can’t wait to have sleepovers every niiiiiiggghhhttttt :D

I was debating on whether to put this one or not, but I’ll say a few words about Jackson. Jackson is one of my newer friends, but definitely a great friend to have. He’s one of those friends that you get along with immediately and we always just talk and talk and talk and talk about everything. I feel comfortable telling him anything and he’s always there to listen to me whine and complain and seemingly understands most of the things I’m feeling. He also tells me when I’m being ridiculous, which I’m okay with. I love him a lot, and I’m super thankful for him and his silly band being in my life. :) love proud love proud love proud LOVE PROUD! !!!

Okay. Done. I promise I’m going to start writing more. :) 

Tumblr, I’m really not as bitter as I think that I come off as. Sometimes I definitely am, but in general, I’m not. I’m really happy. I’m at peace with every decision I’ve made and am looking forward to making new decisions and growing in to a really awesome woman. I’m so excited about moving and starting my new life in Charlotte. I’m really looking forward to getting connected with a sweet church family and having a new job and meeting new people. This is going to be really good for me! :)

Right now I just feel like I want the past three years of my life back.